Joke petition leaves No10 chiefs red-faced

A joke petition to elect the BBC’s Top Gear presenter and Sun columnist Jeremy Clarkson as PM, has been snubbed by Downing Street on their website for being exactly that – a joke. 

But better than that, Downing Street chiefs have been accused of wasting taxpayer’s hard earned cash spending the money to reject the petition that was aired on the social networking site Facebook last year.

What have they got to fear? Downing Street media chiefs obviously view Clarkie as more than a threat than the Thatcherite heir David Cameron.

Ordinary bloke Clarkie unveiled a series of policies including getting rid of every law passed since the New Labour Juggernaut swept to power in 1997. Then he said he would go for a long lunch and sleep in the afternoon. Sounds good to me.

However, since politics is about you and me, and even the dodgy guy sitting on the train next to you, here are some policies I would unveil were I ever to be handed the keys to Downing Street. Of course, that is unlikely, but, hey, you can always dream whilst sitting on the train!

You will never please everyone in politics, so don’t even try. But here goes a starter for ten.

TAX:

•       The very rich should be taxed at 60% over half their earnings. No-one who is a multi-millionaire or billionaire needs all that money.

•       Anyone earning over £100,000 would be taxed at 50%.

•       Anyone earning over £15, 000 will be taxed at a lower rate, say 10%.

•       Anyone earning under that will be TAXED at 5%.

Yes, I did make those up, but can you trust politicians with number crunching anyway? Answers on a postcard.

EUROPE:

Scrap the Human Rights Act and replace it with an English Bill of Rights where all our rights and responsibilities are written down in a single document. On top of this I would advocate a special bill of rights for parliament where MPS enter into a social contract once they have been voted in by their electorate. If they do not abide by this contract, they forfeit their right to govern us.

TRANSPORT:

Money raised from the wealthy will be invested in education, the NHS and transport. More bicycle lanes will be built. Gas guzzlers will not be taxed. Scrap slam-door trains. And more train routes would be built – amid disruption, of course.

If you agree or disagree with this mini-manifesto or think you could do a better job than me, or the guy next to you on the train, do leave a comment.

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