I hope you can live with yourself, London

Sometimes Britain's Labour Party is blamed for everything, writes Matt Gardner. As the Government, it’s bound to happen, hence its worse local government election results this week in 40 years and the defeat of its London Mayor by a Conservative.

Though a left-winger, I too am disappointed in Labour - firstly for losing such a great poll lead over the decimated Tories, but secondly, and possibly most importantly, getting complacent enough to step into the amount of pitfalls it has.

On the scale of parties representing my views, I am now somewhat apolitical.

But for once, anti-Government sentiments seem to have resulted in one good casualty. Ken Livingstone, the man who orchestrated the Olympics coming to London - the man who brought American sports to the capital - the man who set up Britain’s first register for same sex couples - the man who dealt with the London bombings like a true professional and citizen - has been ousted by an utter buffoon.

I never seriously thought that Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, the man who refers to black people as ‘piccaninnies’ with ‘watermelon smiles’ - the man who insulted the entire cities of Liverpool and Portsmouth - the man who forgot the name of his OWN book halfway through writing, giving it a different name on the dust cover to the book itself - the only non-Londoner of the three candidates - has somehow found his way into the most important job in London.

Another character in David Cameron’s Etonian regime, Boris Johnson, the man who couldn’t even snort cocaine properly (due to sneezing… seriously), has somehow overcome his multicultural incompetence to land himself with a multi-billion pound budget, surfing on the successes of Red Ken’s eight years of relative success.

Who would have thought that bringing back Routemasters - the dilapidated, unsafe transport of yesteryear - would have swung it in his favour so much (even though it will cost over £100m more a year to run them)?

Who would have thought that the candidate backed by no less than the fascist British National Party for being a joke - or being the closest to their policies - would have been at the front of the queue?

Who would have thought that Johnson, made into a pseudo-celebrity for being an utter idiot on Have I Got News For You, ridiculed thoroughly by Private Eye editor Ian Hislop, would have triumphed on the greatest political battleground in Britain?

One thing’s for sure - it seems that people aren’t so much voting for Boris as they are for Not Ken.

It has already led comedian Richard Herring to say that he “is disappointed in you London - in half of you anyway”. I don’t think he’s far wrong either.

But you can guarantee - Boris will mess it up. Like George W. Bush, it only takes one unforgivable quote to seal an idiot’s demise. Cue comedians, Bremner, Bird and Fortune and all manner of current affairs quiz shows to parade just how wrong London was tonight. For the next four years, no less. Well done London.

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