Monira Begum

Facebook! Facebook! Facebook! I think if I hear that word once more, I'm actually going to scream! When is the hype for such ludicrously mediocre social networking sites going to end?

I remember at the tender age of 15, about three years ago now, signing up to Myspace just to find out what all the fuss was about. I must admit that I found myself entertained for a total of about 10 minutes of which I spent filling in pointless information about myself such as my favourite films or my favourite books which turned out to be a tragic waste of time as no one ever reads those sections anyway.

Ah yes! Let's not forget about the dozen or so futile sites that popped up to accomodate the ever increasing Myspace population. Sites such as MyGen.co.uk which enabled you to create your own disastrously colourful/ depressing profiles or just steal one from some loser who had spent hours creating it.

Another one was Photobucket.co.uk which allowed you to upload digital pictures and creates slides or edit some in some equally unattractive way. All pointless yet popular, I assumed this fad would soon be over. I was not only surprised but deeply disturbed to see that the social networking phenomena still hadn't died down in the last few years and recognised for what is actually is, a load of old tosh!

No, it seems that it has actually increased in popularity with newer sites such as Facebook or WAYN taking over the old Myspace mantle. I found myself thinking, "Maybe i should join Facebook now, it's bound to be better than Myspace, everyone's talking about it."

So off i went to register myself and guess what I discovered? THERE IS NO IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MYSPACE AND FACEBOOK! The only differences being that on Facebook you can see exactly what the other person is doing by way of annoying messages such as "Fred is now friends with Hoolio" or "Fred just ate a Horse". I have been informed that Myspace now offers the same feature. Tell me please why I'd need to know that "Tom just wrote on Jerry's Wall" like it was the most pivotal moment of his life?

I say this not because I'm a miserable person who just wants to look down on all you dim-witted Facebookers or Myspacers or whatever the hell you call yourselves these days. It genuinely baffles me as to why you'd want to spend hours on the internet, looking at peoples narcissistic portraits of themselves which seem so eloquently named as "profiles".

I understand the whole comment section may entertain you for a total of about five minutes but what can possibly warrant an hour's attention or even a whole night? I wonder is it the witty feature you can attach to your profiles such as a "fun wall" or inane quizzes like "Which Friend's Character are you?" which as far as I can decipher hold no practical purpose to the site what so ever and are about as much fun as gluing my eyelids together.

I think the Facebook phenomena reached its optimum of absurdity when all the adults started jumping on the bandwagon. It still makes me cringe when I hear an over 35-year-olds churning out phrases such as, "I'll Facebook you" or when my lecturers insist on setting up a Facebook group. When I hear such things I think, "OH GOD! Don't do it, don't give in to peer pressure, you're much better than this, you don't need to use Facebook to connect with the students, you're supposed to be an academic for God's sake!"

Doesn't anyone understand there are much more productive ways of entertaining yourself that will not leave you as a socially inadequate buffoon. You could read a book, even learn a few things. You could take a walk or you could even meet up with people face to face and have real conversations and do a spot of REAL socialising with people you actually know!

Or, God forbid, you could actually have a life! The world is your oyster, just stop with this sad nonsense of fake socialising, it's going to erode your brain cells and dampen your intellect and play into the hands of the advertisers! DOWN WITH FACEBOOK!

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