James Combes's blog

Reincarnation.

I'd like to come back as a koala

And spend my life clinging to trees

It beats here and now

For I am a cow

And it puts quite a strain on the knees

Flight Socks.

Flight socks are curious things. They're not real socks, but half-hearted attempts, distant cousins twice-removed from the real thing.  Real socks are normally found in M & S, Burtons, or pretty much any other clothing store in the entire world.

The Christian Calendar.

A quick thought for you all to process. In these heathen times there is no such thing as the Christian Calendar: there is no Christmas, there is no Easter, there is not even  a St. Valentine's Day. The year is simply a collection of strategically placed marketing opportunities.

Waiting for Buses.

The Parking Dilemma.

Living in London presents crucial difficulties everyday. There are the usual things such as jobs, bills and the near-impossibility of getting on the property ladder before the tender age of 93. Added to this now is a modern-day conundrum known as The Parking Dilemma.

Baby Grows.

It is a little known fact that if you take one spermatazoa and an egg and place them both inside a baby-grow - i.e. one of those funky little jump-suit things that babies wear - and then place the baby grow in a cool, dry environment for nine weeks, when you return to the baby grow, there will be a fully grown child waiting for you to feed it. This is why the suits are called baby grows.

There was an article in ES Magazine in February about Natalie Imbruglia, or Umbrella-stand as I believe she is widely known. In reference to her the early stages of her relationship with Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns it says:

"The couple first met in 1999 when Natalie went to one of Silverchair's London gigs, but after dating a year, they split up because they couldn't bear being apart."

Abandoned Bags.

Today was the anniversary of the attacks on London. For many people it must have been a terrible ordeal.

Most people were extra cautious and quite rightly so. The police, bless them, were all over the place. At the stations, on the trains, and keeping an eye out. Which of course, is what they should be doing.

Breaking News

Members of noSWeat college in Clerkenwell were shocked tonight at a graduation ceremony when a tutor, upon congratulating his pupils, took it upon himself to kiss the boys as well as the girls.

The recipient of the unexpected move held his ground in true British fashion, showing neither surprise nor alarm. This, of course, is the British way: if something is happening that does not seem quite right, just keep a stiff upper lip and wait until it goes away.

Education is a beautiful thing. It is even more effective when the subject matter is something about which you thought that there was nothing to tell.

David Eldridge’s Market Boy, is currently playing at the National Theatre on London's south-bank. A black-comedy, combining hilarity and harshness, this is more than a simple play.

The Singing Girl on the Piccadilly Line.

Last week, on a crowded Piccadilly Line train, I found myself smiling inadvertently whilst pretending to read my book - or, if my short-hand tutor is reading this, reading Chapter 8 of my enthralling and captivating Teeline book.