Flight Socks

Flight Socks.

Flight socks are curious things. They're not real socks, but half-hearted attempts, distant cousins twice-removed from the real thing.  Real socks are normally found in M & S, Burtons, or pretty much any other clothing store in the entire world.

Flight socks are found on airlines and in naff shops that sell pointless travel items that you will never need. If they were proper socks they would stay up for the whole length of the flight. Not just the first twelve minutes. And they would have heels. Heels are the crux of the sock: they enable the garment to do its job, and do it well. A sock without a heel is like a tea-pot without a spout. Useless.

If your normal sock is a pure-bred stallion from the finest stock available, then imagine this: the flight sock is nothing but the bastard off-spring from the worst possible background.  No. Don't sympathise or feel sorry for them. That's what they want you to do. These are socks from the wrong side of the tracks. Don't let them into your life. Avoid being sucked into their web of deceit, for the moment that you turn your back they'll be rummaging through your cupboard for your expensive jewellery. And as soon as you open the door, they'll run off with your home entertainment system.

Flight socks are wrong. It is that simple. Like Dolly the sheep, and genetic modification, flight socks are abominations. Stay away.