Jealousy is for haters

Kavita Shah

Have you ever considered what causes you to dislike someone else? Jealousy, the vicious feeling, can often be the cause. The words:  "I hate him, he's such a …" or  "I hate her, she's such a …" probably ring a bell.

You may remember them mumbled, screamed, perhaps whispered in a conversation you had yesterday, last week, or last year. You may be feeling slightly embarrassed or guilty looking back on the cruel words uttered about an ex boyfriend, a sister, or someone close. In retrospect, hate may now be too strong a word. Maybe you said  'hate' but meant  'dislike' or  'loathe'

It's likely that most individuals are familiar with the concept of disliking, or in a cruder sense, hating, but how do you fight it? And I mean fight, in a non physical way, of course! Jealousy can be difficult to admit, but that's the first step to combating the hatred. There is a possibility that you are jealous of a particular trait or possession, something the person who you seem to hate so much has, which you feel that you perhaps don't possess. It could be charm; it could be a stripy woolly jumper. It could be that he or she has more friends, in your eyes.

Jealousy is natural. It is in our evolutionary instincts to perceive others as a threat, to be resentful or bitter and painfully jealous of another's advantages. Instead of acting upon jealousy in a destructive way, why not turn it on its head? So, the next time you decide that you don't like somebody, think deeper, as unbearable as it may be to admit, that perhaps he or she (the person you hate) has silkier, smoother, Sunsilk shampoo advert kind of hair, which you secretly admire.

Be open to giving a compliment, ask for tips, find out which shampoo they use to make it this way. Don't hate because someone else has something you feel you don't! You can achieve or acquire it too. Jealousy is a feeling prevalent in many relationships and can make you feel worthless and aggravated. Admitting the fact that you are jealous is a step in the right direction, but sorting through it is an even bigger one.

With the prevalence of violence, bullying, and abuse within our lives, it seems sensible that we should find some way of thinking and sorting through our hatred and anger, dealing with it constructively before it becomes harmful.